For example, some people thought that their having followed Almighty God and gained some knowledge of themselves meant they had stepped onto the way of Peter. Some thought that their having practiced some truths meant they had stepped onto the way of Peter. Some thought that their having some good behavior outwardly and often calling upon God in imitation of Peter’s prayers meant they had stepped onto the way of Peter. Others thought that their reading God’s word every day and being able to speak a little knowledge of it and know themselves in light of it meant they had stepped onto the way of Peter. Still others thought that, because they shed tears whenever God’s love was talked about, they had had love for God and had stepped onto the way of Peter. Furthermore, there were those who thought that as long as they ate and drank God’s word diligently at home without working or running around outside, they were walking the way of Peter. Up to today, however, no real manifestations of Peter’s pursuing the truth and life can be seen in us. What we live out is still our oldness and our naturalness. Then, how can we say that we are walking the way of Peter? Actually, truly stepping onto the way of Peter is not as simple and easy as we have imagined and thought.
The main reason why we say the way we walk is not really the way of Peter is that our viewpoint of pursuing is different from Peter’s. What Peter pursued was the truth and life, was the transformation of his disposition, was to fulfill the duty of a created being, and was to satisfy God and live out a meaningful life. What we pursue, however, is position and reputation, is money and ease, is the peace of the flesh and the harmony of the family, is to avoid disasters and escape God’s punishment, is to have a good destination, is for our flesh to live more comfortably, and so forth. For example, when God’s family commits to us a bigger work, we are not very willing to accept it for fear that we will have no chance to go home and enjoy fleshly happiness, or we find an excuse to refuse the commission for fear that our family will be broken up. When an illness comes upon us, instead of seeking God’s intention in it, we are full of complaints, thinking that as we expend for God the illness should not have come upon us; thus we live in a state of being passive and complaining, no longer wanting to pursue. When we lose position in God’s family, we lose our wits and become passive and weak, feeling that without position we have no way to pursue, and that it is meaningless to believe in God. When we see that the world situation is very chaotic and God’s day is near, we step up our effort to equip ourselves with the truth and expend willingly for God, but when we learn that to gain the transformation of our disposition takes us quite a long time and requires us to undergo many sufferings, we begin to leave ourselves a way out and do not want to give our all to expend for God. When God’s judgment and chastisement come upon us or God has exposed us by arranging circumstances, and we think that we have no hope of being saved and perfected, we fall into a passive state, writing ourselves off as hopeless and acting recklessly. When working, we often work for the sake of working, and we do not pursue to enter in, do not pay attention to examining ourselves and knowing ourselves, do not pay attention to practicing the truth, and do not pursue the transformation of our disposition. In performing our duty, we do not pay attention to seeking God’s will or seeking the principles of doing things, but often act according to our own will and preferences, or we do things in order to receive favorable comments and praises from others and to occupy a place in others’ heart rather than to satisfy God. In reading God’s word, our purpose is not to understand the truth in it, and not to know ourselves and know God in it, but to equip ourselves with some letters and doctrines to speak them to others and thereby show ourselves off. All such manifestations sufficiently show that our original viewpoint of pursuing has not yet been changed. What we pursue are still fleshly ease, position, reputation, and other things outside the truth. Because our original viewpoint of pursuing has not been corrected and we do not have the same viewpoint of pursuing as Peter’s, a prerequisite for walking the way of Peter, the way we are walking now is still our old way, and not the way of pursuing the truth to be perfected that Peter walked. God’s word tells us: “Peter, in believing in God, pursued to satisfy God in everything and to obey everything from God. He could accept chastisement and judgment, and he also accepted refining, tribulation, and poverty in life, without any complaint. These could not change his heart of loving God. …” “Peter pursued life, and in trials, he paid attention to knowing himself, paid attention to the transformation of his disposition, and spared no effort to pursue to know God. Finally, he thought: Since man lives, he should pursue to know God. To know God is the most crucial. If I fail to know God, I will die discontent. After I know God, even if God asks me to die, I will feel it is the most gratifying thing, I will have no complaint, and I will be content with my whole life. That Peter had this knowledge and could reach this point was not achieved at the beginning of his believing in God. He had to experience many trials. Only after he experienced to the extent that he had fully known himself did he feel the preciousness of knowing God. So, he walked the way of life and the way of being perfected. His specific practices were outstanding mainly in this aspect. What is the way you are walking now? If you are unable to pursue life, pursue to know yourselves, and pursue to know God as Peter did, then it is not the way of Peter.”
Looking back on our thoughts and ideas, words and deeds, and intents and motives over the years of our following God, they are actually not much different from Paul’s states and expressions disclosed by God’s word. For example, Paul liked to work outside, on a grand and spectacular scale; we also like to do big works, pursue to be big leaders, and like to work by our brains and qualities. Paul liked to give lectures; we also like to preach to others and like to show off before others, and even if we do not know how to preach, we still preach in imitation of others. Paul liked to let others listen to him, liked to let others surround him, liked to let others adore him, liked to have a place in others’ heart, and liked to let others pay attention to his image; we also like to let the brothers and sisters listen to us, and if any of them does not, we will feel uncomfortable within and unable to do the work. We always want the brothers and sisters to say that we fellowship about the truth clearly and are good at arranging things, and wherever we go, we always want to leave a good impression on others, want them to have a place for us in their heart, and want them to welcome us with a smiling face. If we cannot get these, we will become passive and feel that it is meaningless to live. Therefore, we work hard and do our best to endure hardships. Moreover, we often testify how many years we have believed in God, what works we have done, and how many hardships we have suffered; testify how busy and how tired we are in working, and how many nights we have stayed up late; testify that we are old believers, and that the leaders above think highly of us, promote us, and commit to us important works; testify that we are leaders and can lead so many people, and that no big work can daunt or defeat us; testify that we are quick-witted, have good qualities, and handle matters in an efficient and orderly manner; and testify that we achieved good results in our past work. And some even testify their origins, their social status, and their families being in superior conditions and having power. Like Paul thinking himself not inferior to the greatest apostles, we always feel that we are superior to any of the brothers and sisters and we alone are qualified to be leaders, requiring the brothers and sisters to know and experience as we do. … We have such states and expressions, which sufficiently shows that the way we walk is precisely the way of Paul, and it is far from the way of Peter. This is because our viewpoint of pursuing is the same as Paul’s, our pursuit is completely for our fleshly interests and for our reputation and position, and what we live out is still the image of satan. Many times, in the meetings or in the revealing of facts, we realize that we pursue for position, reputation, future, and destination, and that the way we walk is still the way of Paul; and we make a resolution to willingly drop these things hated by God and pursue to walk the way of Peter, and also find some words of God concerning walking the way of Peter to read. And then we come before God and pray: O God! I am willing to imitate Peter. May you inspire and enlighten me and grace me so that I can step onto the way of Peter. Without your grace and mercy, I can only walk the way of Paul. Today, you have revealed to us the way of being perfected. I am willing to take the way of Peter. Also, we often imitate Peter’s prayers. After practicing so for a period of time, we feel that we have known ourselves somewhat more than before, that we can speak some knowledge about God’s work, and that we can occasionally put some truths into practice under certain circumstances. Then we think that we have stepped onto the way of Peter, feeling that our experience is higher than others’, and we are with complete confidence. However, when we experience in real life, we once again start to consider our position and reputation and plan for our future path of living. For example, when being with others, we always want them to pay attention to our image, always want them to have a regard for us, and always wish them to welcome us with a smiling face, and even when we fellowship about the truth with them, our purpose is to leave a good impression on them. When talking with others, we always show ourselves off, like to talk about our strong points, and like to praise ourselves, wanting to be adored by them. When we work, though we are willing to pay some price and suffer some hardships, our intent is not to satisfy God but to let our leaders say we are competent and let the above have a good opinion of us. When we make mistakes in the work and fail to gain favorable comments from the above, we think that our qualities are too poor and that no matter how we pursue we cannot meet God’s requirements, and then we write ourselves off as hopeless and act recklessly. When an illness comes upon us, we think: When will the illness go away? What if it gets serious so that I cannot do the work? How shall I live then? In a word, whatever we do, our intent and motive is for ourselves; we do nothing for caring for God’s heart or for practicing the truth and satisfying God. From this it can be seen that the way we are walking now is still the way of Paul, and not the way of Peter which we long to take.
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