I am a Christian, and I am 70 years old. I once became paralyzed because of an illness, and nearly became braindead. During that period, I gave up any hope of surviving, but at a critical juncture, God’s words gave me faith and allowed me to miraculously regain my life. If God hadn’t saved me, I would have left this world a long time ago.
Suddenly Fainting, Becoming Paralyzed
On April 19, 2017, after getting out of bed, I had a splitting headache. Suddenly, I stumbled and fell on the bed. Half of my body couldn’t move, and I gradually lost consciousness.
Later, my relatives took me to the emergency room at the hospital, where a CT scan was done. The doctor said that the hemorrhage in my brain stem was caused by a rupture of the arterial wall, and if we couldn’t stop the blood, my life was in danger. When my daughter heard that, she sobbed, heartbroken. The doctor didn’t dare delay treatment, and told the nurses to bring me to the emergency rescue unit.
There, the doctor said to the nurses, “Look after the old woman, she’s about to lose her ability to breathe. Take off her earrings, rings, and necklace and give them to her family, so that they can be mentally prepared and begin her final affairs.” Although I couldn’t open my eyes and I couldn’t move at all, I was fully conscious. When I heard that I was about to die, I felt both fear and sadness. Although I knew everyone dies, I didn’t expect that I would die so quickly and suddenly. I hadn’t had time to say goodbye to the people around me, I hadn’t taken my final look at this world yet, and despite believing in God, I hadn’t gained the truth or understanding of God…. At this time, I felt that my life was too short. The thought that I had to leave this world so suddenly, with so many things left undone, left my heart heavy with sorrow and regret.
But at that moment, I remembered God’s words, “The destination of man is in the hands of the Creator, so how could man control himself?” God’s words gave me a little comfort. Although the doctor had given up trying to save me, I had God to rely on, so there was nothing to fear. Man’s life and death are in God’s hands, so we have no ability to control our own destiny. Whether I lived or died wasn’t up to the doctor or myself. Only God had any say in the matter. Over and over, I silently prayed to God in my heart, “God! God! My life and death are in Your hands, and no matter whether I live or die, I will obey Your orchestrations and arrangements.” After I prayed, I felt much more secure.
In Desperation, God’s Words Give Me Confidence and Hope
I remained in the emergency rescue unit for 7 days, slipping in and out of consciousness. The moment I was awake, I would cry out to God. On the seventh day, the doctor transferred me from the emergency rescue unit to the intensive care unit. At this point, I was lying paralyzed in bed like one of the living dead, and I fell into negativity and weakness: My husband suffered from an advanced stage of cancer, and now I was paralyzed. We couldn’t take care of ourselves or move about freely, and our daughter had her own affairs, so how could she take care of us two living dead people? Tears flowed into my ears from the corners of my eyes, and I couldn’t wipe them away with my hands. What was the point of living? I would be better off dead, I thought, and the feeling that I would rather die than live was very bitter. God! How could I suffer such a grave illness? God! What is Your will in this?
After feeling miserable for a while, I suddenly realized that my state was incorrect, and quickly prayed to God, “God! Now I feel especially negative and weak, and I’ve lost the confidence and courage to live. God, please enlighten me and let me understand Your will.”
After I finished praying, I recalled some of God’s words, “While undergoing trials, it’s normal for people to be weak, or have negativity within them, or to lack clarity on God’s will or their path for practice. But in any case, you must have faith in God’s work, and not deny God, like Job. Although Job was weak and cursed the day of his own birth, he did not deny that all things in human life were bestowed by Jehovah, and that Jehovah is also the One to take it all away. No matter how he was tested, he maintained this belief. … God requires mankind’s faith. This way, what is perfected are people’s faith and aspirations. You cannot touch or see it; it is under these circumstances that your faith is required.” God’s words greatly calmed my heart, and made me understand that God wants us to have faith in Him, both in comfort and in suffering, without complaining or denying God, and be able to hold to our fear of God and obedience to God’s orchestrations and arrangements. Just like Job, whose vast herds of cattle and sheep were taken by robbers, whose children were killed by a collapsing house, and whose body was covered with boils. Amidst this trial, although Job was greatly tormented, he did not sin with his mouth by blaming God, he never lost faith in God, he submitted to what God granted and took away, and praised the holy name of God. I was very ashamed to think that my condition made me weak and disappointed, self-destructive, and even want to use death to relieve my pain. This was when I saw that it was very important to have faith like Job if I wanted to continue to experience this illness. But how could I have the same confidence as Job?
Thanks to God’s guidance, I recalled God’s words: “Job did not talk of trades with God, and made no requests or demands of God. His praising of God’s name was because of the great power and authority of God in ruling all things…. What he demanded of himself was to wait for, accept, face, and obey all of the arrangements that came from God; Job believed this to be his duty, and it was precisely what was wanted by God.” I understood that Job’s faith was based on the fact that he knew God’s sovereignty and authority. That is to say, he could stand up and testify for God amidst trials and have faith in God because of his understanding of God’s sovereignty, and he knew that his children, his property, and even his life are all dominated and ruled over by God, so when he lost his property and children, and when painful boils grew all over his body, he could accept and obey God’s arrangements and not make any demands of God. Meanwhile, my understanding of God’s sovereignty was only a surface admission, instead of resolutely and without doubt believing that my life was in God’s hands, which is why, during this illness, I wasn’t able to completely give my life over to God, and I was unable to experience the environment with an attitude of waiting or obedience. Finally, I understood how to face this illness. I have to completely give my life over to God, not become self-destructive and give up my life, not ask God to preserve my life, and especially not blame God for this environment. Instead, I should wait patiently and experience what was to come with confidence. No matter what the result, I should obey God’s sovereignty and arrangements, so that I could have sincere faith in God and stand firm and testify for God.
After I realized this, my negativity, weakness, and unreasonable demands of God vanished, and in their place I had obedience and confidence in God. In my heart, I prayed silently to God, “God! In this environment You created, I saw that when circumstances that don’t fit with my notions come to me, I cannot obey, and I still make demands of You. I am truly without conscience or reason. Now, I wish to repent and change, and to pursue understanding You and satisfying You, so that I can stand firm and testify for You in this painful environment. No matter whether I recover from my illness, I will be obedient.” After I prayed, I felt much calmer …
A Miracle, and a Complete Recovery
Unexpectedly, after a few days, I could move my hands and feet a little. When the rehabilitation director saw that my hands and feet could move, he said to me, “There’s a possibility you may be able to recover, and maybe even walk.” When I heard this, I was very excited, and thanked God over and over again. When I first came to the hospital, the doctor said that I would soon stop breathing, and that there was no hope for me. Now, I was not only not dead, I was still fully conscious, I could even eat as usual, and I showed signs of recovery. I knew that if it weren’t for the miraculous work of God, no one could have delivered me safely from my illness. I really and truly experienced God’s authority, and I was able to experience what followed with greater confidence.
Four or five days after that, I was transferred to the rehabilitation department. After I moved into my room, I saw a woman lying on the bed opposite me, about 50 years old, who had also been paralyzed by stroke. She couldn’t even recognize her family, and tubes were inserted everywhere in her body. When I saw this, I shed tears of gratitude to God. Her illness was the same as mine, and I was 70 years old, but I could sit up on my bed and my mind still functioned. At only 50, she was braindead and comatose. I once again offered thanks and praise to God in my heart.
Next, I began undergoing the doctor’s treatment plan in the rehabilitation department. I exercised by leaning against a door. But after standing for forty minutes, I always felt unspeakable pain, and I truly didn’t have the confidence to continue my exercises. The nurse said, “Keep exercising. This is a critical stage in your rehabilitation, and if you miss it, you’ll never recover.” Later, I prayed to God to ask for the strength and confidence, and managed to persist. I also did many other exercises, foot lifts for twenty minutes, wrist movements for twenty minutes, and then half an hour of massage from the doctor. Whatever exercises the doctor arranged, I relied on God to continue doing.
After a few days, I was able to move around. The doctors saw me and said with surprise, “Your recovery is a miracle. People with your condition, some can’t talk or walk, and some become vegetative. It’s really surprising that you’ve been able to recover so well.” The other patients also looked at me with envious eyes. When I saw all this, I knew clearly in my heart that this wasn’t my own physical fitness, but the miraculous work of God, and God’s blessing.
It wasn’t long before I was discharged. When I got home, I could take care of my own needs in life, and I didn’t need any help to wash clothes or cook.
After this illness, I have a more practical understanding of God’s omnipotence and sovereignty, and I saw that during my illness, God was caring for me and protecting me. When I was weak and negative, it was God’s words that enlightened me and gave me confidence and strength. When I was paralyzed, it was God’s protection that allowed me, bit by bit, to recover my health. When I lacked the perseverance to keep exercising, God gave me the confidence and strength to keep going. I saw God’s good intentions to save me, and I saw God’s authority and power, which increased my faith in God. I wish to use the rest of my time in this life to pursue the truth and fulfill the duty of a created being to repay God’s love! All glory be to God!
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